by Leslie Cox; Sunday, September 15, 2013

It has been four weeks tomorrow since I wrote my last blog post. You may, or may not, have been wondering where I have been.

John and I were supposed to be on a mini-holiday in there somewhere…just for a week or so, mind you. But no. We did not “get away” as planned because my mom took a fall in her nursing home on August 18th. Luckily, there were no broken bones and she was allowed to return home.

However, the very next morning, she took another spill getting out of bed and this time it was more serious. X-rays showed five fractures in her pelvic area, plus a 6th one that was not all the way through. The good news was, Mom did not need any surgery to repair the fractures. Just bed rest and then up on her feet to slowly start moving again.

But along with the good news came some bad. An exploratory CT scan was done to see if anything untoward had caused these two falls and they found bleeding on the brain. This was really bad.

And twelve days after her second fall, Mom passed away. So quick really. The last hours I was able to spend with her…the day before she passed away…she was in a coma. Not once did she open her eyes.

I hang on desperately to the trust Mom felt my lips gently brush her forehead as I rose to leave her that last day with her. And that she heard my whispered “Good-bye. I love you so much, Mom.”

I also hold dearly in my heart the fun John and I had with her only fifteen days earlier. We had made a special trip to Victoria on August 15th to take Mom out for an afternoon drive. Drove all around the Saanich Peninsula visiting past haunts. Took a tour past one of the stables from my horse-back riding days as a young teenager. Went to our favourite road-side veggies stands. Drove past a couple of our favourite nurseries where Mom and I had enjoyed so many hours of pure bliss looking at all the wonderful plants…and buying not just a few because we really could not resist.

Well, truthfully, we actually did turn into one of the nurseries but Mom did not feel up to getting out and walking around which took some of the wind out of my sails that day. It was the first time she did not want to look at plants. But she did enjoy our stop at The Roost for a latte and a blueberry scone. It was also high time for her to “take out some insurance” and use the washroom facilities. (My mom was always famous for ordering us three kids to go to the bathroom before we left the house. Speaking for myself, she trained me so well, I can go on demand now.)

It has been fifteen days since my mom passed away now. And eight days since we laid her to rest with Dad.

I still feel numb. She is gone but I cannot believe it. Both of my parents are gone now. Eight months and 5 days apart. And almost smack in the middle is the date we had to put my beautiful Molly-girl down at the age of 12 years. I guess small wonder I am numb. It has been a tough year losing so many near and dear to me.

It is never easy to lose a close relative…or to put a beloved pet down. Forty-two years later I can still remember the intense feeling of shock upon learning of my grandfather’s sudden death from a heart attack. I still feel the agony thirty-six years later of watching my grandmother slip away from the dementia that caused her a series of mini-strokes and a pelvic fracture. It has been a few weeks of déjà vu down memory lane on this last.

And that memory has reinforced for me how important it is that we never let a single day go by we do not tell our loved ones how much we love them and hold them close. You just never know.